Parents Archives - Nancy Rose

Video Parenting Tips: ACTIVITY (the First Trait of the CoreSelf)

Posted by | Acceptance, Kids, Parents | No Comments

Hi, everybody,

Nancy Rose here, author of Raise the Child You’ve Got—Not the One You Want.

We’re going to be going over each of the Nine Traits of the CoreSelf. Now, if you’re not familiar with the concept of the traits of the CoreSelf, or of the CoreSelf, I encourage you to go back and look at Episode #3, which talks about what these Nine Traits represent. But in a nutshell, they represent the parts of a child that are inborn—the inborn temperament traits, that you as a parent cannot change…but you can influence.

Today, we’re looking at the first of the Nine Traits of the CoreSelf, and that is ACTIVITY. Now, Activity is pretty easy to understand…it’s the amount of movement your child engages in, over time…not on a particular afternoon, but over time. Read More

3 Helpful Things to Say to Your Intense Child

Posted by | Intense Kids, Parents, Wisdom | One Comment

In a previous post, I wrote about intense kids and the importance of understanding that intensity is part of a child’s CoreSelf, an inborn temperament trait. Intense children are high-maintenance children. They feel their feelings strongly, whether it’s happiness and joy or anger and disappointment. As an intense person myself, I can tell you that one never, ever has to wonder what we are feeling. Our default mode is to wear our feelings on our sleeve. Can you relate?

It’s easy to get frustrated with intense kids. If you are low intensity, and just let things roll off your back, and your child takes everything to heart, it’s super easy to accuse them of “making a big deal about everything,” which does nothing to help your child manage his intensity. And it’s your job to help your child manage their inborn temperament traits so they can be effective in the world. Read More

Don’t Get Disconnected from Your Intense Child

Posted by | Acceptance, Intense Kids, Parents | No Comments

Intense children are hard to raise. Everything’s a big deal with intense kids…the good stuff, like happiness and laughter and excitement (they feel everything so strongly!), and the not-so-good stuff, like the frustration, the anger, the screaming when hurt. You always know how intense kids feel about what’s going on.  Read More

Feeling Powerless as the Parent of an Intense Child (or presenting a webinar)

Posted by | Intense Kids, Parents | 4 Comments

Two weeks ago, I presented a webinar for my peeps: parents of intense kids. I know what it’s like to be caught up in the throes of everyday life while raising a child who is strong-willed, difficult-to-raise, defiant, negative, and/or call-it-whatever-you-want. You guys need help. My goal was to help you ease the confusion, exhaustion, and feeling of powerlessness that you feel every single day. Every. Single. Day.  Read More

Intense, angry boy

3 Things to Never Say Again to Your Intense Child

Posted by | Intense Kids, Parents, Wisdom | 6 Comments

Parenting an intense child can be frustrating and will test us as parents on a daily basis. High intensity kids feel everything deeply: the positive emotions (happiness, joy, delight) AND the difficult emotions (anger, sadness, hurt). You never have to wonder how a high intensity child feels about something because they show you by whooping, wailing, or raging! Did you know that a person’s intensity level is an inborn trait? Your child can’t change their intensity level. But you can (and must) help them manage their intensity so they grow up well-adjusted! Read More

Parenting, Walking Through Fire, and Fire Walking

Posted by | Parents, Self-Identity | No Comments

Parenting sometimes feels like walking through fire, doesn’t it? We do it because we love our children, but the relentlessness and the need to call up our best selves under adverse circumstances can be daunting.

Several times in my life, I’ve “walked through fire.”

There have been periods of darkness and devastation that felt as destructive and dangerous as a fire. Some were related to parenthood and some were not. But like the fresh, green new growth that needs the intense heat of the fire to sprout through the charred forest floor, when I came out the other side, I, too, was transformed by the experience.

Yes, I’ve metaphorically walked through fire several times, but last Thursday, I literally walked on fire, along with 5600 other people attending Unleash the Power Within (UPW), a Tony Robbins live event that teaches participants that all you need is within you now. Read More

Review of When Your Kids Push Your Buttons, by Bonnie Harris

Posted by | Acceptance, Kids, Parents, Resources | 33 Comments

Although acceptance is a fundamental human need, many parents struggle to accept their children as they are. In Raise the Child You’ve Got—Not the One You Want, I offer the parents’ path to acceptance:

  1. Start with the child you’ve got.
  2. Accept who your child is.
  3. Separate who your child is from what your child does, and
  4. Understand your CoreSelf and your behavior.

Read More

Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Lazy Teenager

Posted by | Behavior, Parents, Teenagers | No Comments

At a recent parenting workshop, a mom asked for advice on what to do about her “lazy” teenage son. Not an uncommon issue for parents of teenagers, but before I could help her, I needed more information. I asked her to describe what her son’s laziness looked like.

“He’s 15 and he spends all his time in his room playing video games,” she said. “He refuses to do any chores around the house and doesn’t listen to anything we say to him.” Read More

Child Behavior Problem or Parent Acceptance Problem?

Posted by | Acceptance, Kids, Parents | One Comment

Oh, how I loathe keywords. To me, it’s putting the cart before the horse. In fact, I have a Kindle app that tells you what to write an e-book about based on what people are searching for on Kindle. It’s smart! Find our what people want and give it to them. But it rubs me the wrong way.

What I’ve learned over the last few months is that you’ve got to get people to click on your product or post, and the way to get them to click is to use the keywords they’re searching for. That’s why the title of this post starts with “Child Behavior Problem….” That’s what parents search for, not accceptance, or connection, or how can I change as a parent?  Read More

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