Two weeks ago, I presented a webinar for my peeps: parents of intense kids. I know what it’s like to be caught up in the throes of everyday life while raising a child who is strong-willed, difficult-to-raise, defiant, negative, and/or call-it-whatever-you-want. You guys need help. My goal was to help you ease the confusion, exhaustion, and feeling of powerlessness that you feel every single day. Every. Single. Day.
The webinar went great. Or so I thought, as we streamed it live. It was soon after we signed off that we discovered that the screenshare technology did not operate correctly and when I thought I was showing a slide, viewers saw a black screen. I was upset and frustrated, and got to work, first figuring out what had happened and then educating myself about what to do next. Should I edit the slides back into the video replay of the webinar? Could I find someone to do it for me? Should I take the time to learn video editing in case it happened again? It felt overwhelming, and this was just the beginning of a big ol’ gaggle of glitches that just kept coming…for two weeks. One thing after another.
The details of the glitchy glitches don’t even matter. The only reason I’m writing about them is that my frustration, feelings of being alone and overwhelmed, and utter powerlessness when dealing with PEOPLE WHO WERE NOT LISTENING TO ME and PEOPLE WHO WERE STUPID vaulted me back to another time when I wanted to pull my hair out:
WHEN I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE THROES OF EVERYDAY LIFE WHILE RAISING MY INTENSE, STRONG-WILLED, DEFIANT, NEGATIVE SON
OK, universe, I get it. I remember. My peeps feel this way EVERY SINGLE DAY. What a great reminder. I’m humbled by the way these lessons come to us. It makes me MORE committed to helping you. MORE committed to being of service. MORE committed to reaching every parent who is struggling. I’m doubling down.
P.S. What’s one thing you can do today to increase your self-care? Meditate for five minutes before driving home? Ask your partner for a foot rub? Skip the kids’ baths and take one yourself? What would work for you?
xoxoxo Nancy
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Thank you for the webinar last week. I live in Indiana with my wife, son and daughter. I have nothing to say that hasn’t already been expressed on these pages, but I will share some thoughts with you. It all resonates so deeply with me. Most of the time I feel like a miserable failure as a man, father, husband, and provider because of the dynamic I’ve facilitated with my 12 year old “intense son.” His behavior and our inappropriate responses to it make everyone miserable most of the time. The best solution we have is to plug him into electronics and walk on eggshells around him. I often think about leaving because my efforts at holding him accountable and helping him are often undermined by my wife. We have been through it all with him. Hospitalization 2 times for 10 days, daunting list of labels and conditions, meltdowns, suicide attempts, meds., counseling, severe learning disabilities, etc. Ironically, he looks so normal from the outside. Yet, we continue moving forward and have to remind ourselves to celebrate our little successes: Minimal behavior problems at school, working closely with the school, sports, friends, love…Unfortunately, I have done so many of the things you write about wrong in the past. Fortunately, I have found inspiration in your words and will strive to improve in the future…I do take comfort in knowing that we are not alone. Thank you…
Dear Tom,
It is for people like you that I do what I do. Please trust me when I tell you that you are not a failure. You are courageous and loving as you continue moving forward. And yes, you are not alone and could benefit greatly by being supported by other parents like you. Just this morning, I opened enrollment for my 5 week telecourse. Here’s the link…I think you would get great value from it. And it is my honor to serve you. http://go.nancyjrose.com/5-week-telecourse/
Nancy,
I just wanted to let you know that I only listened to the webinar anyway and it was great!! It was on a bit late, east coast time and I was tired. I closed my eyes in bed and listened. I did see the black screen but it was no problem for me lol. I am just letting you know that it was great, slides or not. Black screen or not. I hear your frustration..I know you wanted the presentation to be perfect. But it was still great!! It helped so much. I appreciate you throwing out a lifeline to us. I often feel alone with my spirited toddler and knowing you got through it encourages me.
Thank you so much for weighing in, Kerry. I love your description of the lifeline…boy do I remember those days and yes, I want to be there for you. You are not alone! Hope you have a great day with your spirited one!