Nancy Rose, author/speaker/parent coach

The One Surefire Way to Get Your Kids to Cooperate (HINT: it’s Not a Chart)

Posted by | Acceptance, Behavior, Kids | 16 Comments

The one surefire way to get your kids to cooperate is to lead with acceptance.

Make acceptance of who your children are the STARTING point in your parenting, not something you give conditionally when they meet your expectations. Why is this so important? Because each of us has a fundamental need to be understood and accepted exactly as we are. It’s a basic human need, and a very powerful one. If our parents don’t fill this need, we will seek approval and acceptance wherever we can find it. Gangs, predators, fringe elements. We all need to feel that we belong! Read More

Parenting, Walking Through Fire, and Fire Walking

Posted by | Parents, Self-Identity | No Comments

Parenting sometimes feels like walking through fire, doesn’t it? We do it because we love our children, but the relentlessness and the need to call up our best selves under adverse circumstances can be daunting.

Several times in my life, I’ve “walked through fire.”

There have been periods of darkness and devastation that felt as destructive and dangerous as a fire. Some were related to parenthood and some were not. But like the fresh, green new growth that needs the intense heat of the fire to sprout through the charred forest floor, when I came out the other side, I, too, was transformed by the experience.

Yes, I’ve metaphorically walked through fire several times, but last Thursday, I literally walked on fire, along with 5600 other people attending Unleash the Power Within (UPW), a Tony Robbins live event that teaches participants that all you need is within you now. Read More

Review of When Your Kids Push Your Buttons, by Bonnie Harris

Posted by | Acceptance, Kids, Parents, Resources | 33 Comments

Although acceptance is a fundamental human need, many parents struggle to accept their children as they are. In Raise the Child You’ve Got—Not the One You Want, I offer the parents’ path to acceptance:

  1. Start with the child you’ve got.
  2. Accept who your child is.
  3. Separate who your child is from what your child does, and
  4. Understand your CoreSelf and your behavior.

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How Parents Can Make Lasting Changes

Posted by | Acceptance | 2 Comments

Another elephant metaphor?

Yup! There are two of them in Raise the Child You’ve Got—Not the One You Want, so this makes three. Several years ago, when I began sharing my message about the importance of accepting children for who they are,  a common response was, “But it’s soooooooooo hard!” Hearing this as many times as I did reinforced my determination to help parents understand what to accept and what to guide, and to share a step-by-step method that was clear, concrete, and user-friendly.

A good method is just the first step.

People need to be motivated to change. The parents who are most motivated to change are usually in unbearable pain, due to constant battling with their child or chilly disconnect, and they are willing to do what it takes. But what about the rest of the parents? Is it possible to make a conscious effort to shift towards leading with acceptance if your relationship with your child isn’t (thankfully) close to hitting rock bottom?

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Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Lazy Teenager

Posted by | Behavior, Parents, Teenagers | No Comments

At a recent parenting workshop, a mom asked for advice on what to do about her “lazy” teenage son. Not an uncommon issue for parents of teenagers, but before I could help her, I needed more information. I asked her to describe what her son’s laziness looked like.

“He’s 15 and he spends all his time in his room playing video games,” she said. “He refuses to do any chores around the house and doesn’t listen to anything we say to him.” Read More

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